Now, I have always been a proponent of punishment for bad behavior, and apparently the good old Japanese are on my side this time. Because, now there is a USB shocking device. It comes with a suite of programs ranging from internet explorer to word in which case certain words can be programmed to shock along with entire programs. I suppose if you’re constant masturbation has affected your life then this is a good theory for you! BAD BAD SELF. NO MORE BEATING OFF TODAY. ZZZZAP AHHHH. But, fear not, it also has applications to acupressure and can be placed on certain joints (or genitals if that is your thing). A disturbing and amusing thought from our friends-former-foes, The Japs. Freud would truly be proud of this strange device.
But if you’re one of those hippies who enjoys “positive reinforcement” there is always the good old USB vibrator. I am not really sure what to say about this wonder, so I’ll just quote the apt description:
Simply plug into the “USB” port of any laptop or PC computer and you’re ready to play.
It’s so Simple!
Completely controlled by a tiny microprocessor, the vibrator compontents can easily be manipulated to give you an ultimate deep and penetrating orgasm.
So, stubby introduced me to this nerdy math/computer/life comic. I will one day kill him for it. (http://www.xckd.com/)
Also, I found this a free-license truly “indie” artist of fair pleasure. Jonathan Coulton’s one song that has been amusing me for the past day is “First of May” (Warning: Very crude/adult language).
Mmmm, possibly (dare I challenge fate and say it) a TMNT movie that dosn’t suck. Godbless this Hollywood trend to reinvent battered movie series (e.g. Batman, Bond, etc). Most are pretty good IMHO except perhaps Superman… but superman sucks as a concept anyways.
TMNT Trailer
Now, for movies that should have been. You gotta love the way trailers can be utterly deceiving in the way they are edited, etc. While, I found a nice blog called The Trailer Mash that collects nice faux mashups.
Some of my favorites:
Star Wars: EmpireBrokeback
Don’t stick that in my parallel port!
Titanic: Two the Surface
Sadly, knowing Hollywood this isn’t completely out of the realm of possibility. At the very least, the title is deliciously pun-ishing.
Garden State (Thriller)
Simply a masterful job of editing. If you’ve seen the movie already, then this will make you laugh.
10 Things I hate About Commandments
LOL, god. Oops. Funny stuff. Don’t punish me god
Brokeback to the Future
A good old classic mashup.
The Shining (Romantic Comedy)
Ah, still the most brilliant mashup ever.
I think cell phones are getting out of hand. To be F*cking honest I just want them to not lag, not drop my calls, and work most of the time. They can give me mp3s and 1000s of useless features, but they can’t make it get calls any better. Jack of all trades is the jack of none kiddos. I hope this and the iPhone bomb in a glorious blaze of bankruptcy.
Thanks Kurtis for the link… so I can despise technological consumerism a bit more.
